Monday, March 26, 2012

Friends lost, family gained

   When I had my little Facebook blowout, I didn't know what to do, who to trust, who liked me and who didn't.  My fatal error, of course, was inviting my bat shit crazy sister into the group.  I know better.  She's so melodramatic, and they believed her!  All those posts about not sleeping, being in pain, then the next day she's writing about having completed a 5 mile bike ride!  Vatta doosh.  I fucked up and replied to the email she sent me a couple of months ago, ripping in to me, telling me what an asshole I am.  Then I found out yesterday that she deleted my daughter from her friend list as well...??  I had to reply to the message.  I kept it short, one paragraph, stated my case.  She wrote back, full of venom, saying that my mother hates me, she deleted my daughter because she was sick of reading her posts about her being ill.  She knows just where to stick that hateful knife.  I knew better.  That's what blows about the whole thing.  I should have NEVER let her into my life again.  She is too crazy, and now she's alienated all of my friends from me.  I have to wonder what she's told them so they aren't contacting me.  It must be a DOOOOOOZY.  I lost all my friends but gained a lot of time with my family, so that's all that's really important here.  If the others want to follow the sister around believing her shit, so be it.  It sure does bother me, why they're not contacting me, but I've got to let it go.  She doesn't see the Bipolar in herself, sad really when it all comes crashing down.
    Lots of good things are happening in my life right now, but I still fight the depression.  The hubby is really fighting hard to beat his demons, but it's so difficult to be around him sometimes.  I found out a lot of things that are causing me to have so much pain, now I just have to get to the Rheumatologist to see what the blood work turned up.  He was extremely shocked at the laxity in my left knee.  It bends in all directions, so I've been doing the strengthening exercises to keep it more stable.  I've started fish oil and vitamin D, turns out I'm deficient, it helps with the pain some.  They finally caught my thyroid low so I've started medication for that too.  I've got stage 3 kidney disease, that came out of nowhere, still shocked.  Since I've been super hydrating my numbers have improved but not enough to get me out of stage 3.  Then there's all the stuff with my back.  It's a dissertation so I won't bore you with that.  Hopefully our insurance authorizes it quickly so I can get the surgery as soon as possible, life just sucks.  I can't do anything.  I have notebooks full of ideas, stuff, I had to make one to go around my neck because I usually forget what I was going to write down before I locate a notebook.  Which is ridiculous, I hoard the damned things.
    I really hope the house thing works out soon.  Since it's an approved short sale it shouldn't take a year like some do,  it's gorgeous and I love it and it doesn't have any STAIRS!!!  I've been sleeping downstairs in my recliner for a few weeks, I can't get up and down the stairs and our mattress is awful.  Hubby doesn't want to buy a new one until we move into the new house.  Blergh.  I have so many ideas, things I want to decorate, I'm so anxious that they'll screw us and make us wait 6 months.
    We adopted a baby kitty last weekend!  She's yellow striped with long hair, the cutest face EVER.  Jason came up with the name Matilda, hubby calls her Maddy, I call her mistress squishy cheeks or whatever pops into my head.  I slept on the couch chaise last night just so I could sleep with her, that's her spot :)
    It's about time to color my hair again, I bleached it a week or so ago but haven't gotten around to putting more purple in.  My arms get tired so fast because of the two pinched nerves in my neck.
    I guess that's about it, unless I can get this picture to work.  I saw a mani on Pinterest the other day, paint the nail a dark color then use 3 or 4 sheer polishes of the same color group and dab them on one at a time with plastic wrap.  I re-did it last night and it's bangin'!

Whooohooo!  I'm so impressed with myself right now, LOL.  Next, since I've figured out how to get good pics on here, one of the new family member:

    Well, I guess that's it for now.  Once I get my head on straight I can start posting decorating ideas.  Oh, I should probably put a medication count on here since I'm changing so many.  Meh, I don't want to bore you to death and my arms are tired.  Good write Krissy!  You managed to stay sitting up and typing for a long time :)

Sunday, March 25, 2012


   I deactivated my Facebook account this morning.  It said my account had been hacked, again, so that gave me the perfect excuse to leave.  Some "friends" jumped me a month or so ago, I left the secret group and only three people contacted me afterward.  It was obvious from some of the things they said that someone had been making some shit up because I had NEVER used terms like that, but when I tried to lay blame everyone came to my sister's defense.  I invited her to the group several years ago, I thought she could use some internet peeps.  She kind of took over, but I never had the feeling anyone didn't like me.  Some old shit came out from one person, way to hold a grudge.  So, I've only been on to check messages since and I got hacked so I'm out.  I am kind of grateful, I spend a lot more time with the fam now.  What's REALLY important.
   I'm still doing my nails like a maniac.  That's about all I can do now.  My new doc ordered MRIs and CTs and found two bulging discs in my neck and one in my lower back, along with several other pain causing things.  The vertebrae are now sitting on nerves in both places so we're going to do surgery asap, probably within the next three weeks.  Just the neck for now, once I recover from that we'll do the bottom half.  I can only hope it works, I'm so weak and tired and in pain.  I'm seeing a Rheumatologist now as well since my labs came up positive for some type of rheumatoid thing.  Eventually I'll feel like a human, right?
    We're also buying a house, or attempting to.  It's gorgeous, one story, 5 years old.  I love it and hope they get escrow started next week.  I hate to get surgery while so much is going on but I'm afraid of what will happen if I wait.  Arms tired, will write more later or tomorrow.  I have a lot to say :)